By: Sherina Nicole
“The more I really know about me, the less bullshit I am likely to believe. And once I trust myself, the possibilities of growing all aspects of myself are possible, if not inevitable.”
New Year's Eve used to make me super depressed. My own worst enemy and a glutton for punishment, I was stuck looking back, disappointed at everything I had not accomplished while others looked to the New Year as a reset button. New Year’s Eve was how I could judge myself against people who were doing things that I had no interest in but seemed happier than me, cooler than me, mixy-er than me. New Year's Eve was another way for me to set myself lower and the bar even higher. As an overachiever with incredible expectations of self, perpetual disappointment was my norm.
In no way have I completely dug myself out of that hole of self-degradation but I have come very far to that goal. Now, I decidedly celebrate myself, in private and public, in a whole-hearted effort to love me first. So this year, I'm doubling down. My New Year's resolution: touch myself as much as possible.
What does this mean? If you are thinking I am now going to randomly feel myself up on the train or something like that you are way off. My plan is touch and stimulate myself mentally, spiritually and physically this year. This is an active step to the larger goal of seeing myself as my main source of happiness, desire, and support. Still not making total sense to you? Here are the top five reasons why I plan to touch myself as much as possible in 2018.
To gain connection with self.
Masturbation to me is a healthy form of meditation. When my mind is too cluttered to meditate in stillness, masturbation without porn or other stimulants helps me to slow down, release nervous energy, relax my mind, and reinvigorate myself.To really love myself.
It’s been impossible for me to really love myself when I only partially acknowledge myself in the mirror. Sure, when I feel amazing, I take my time in the mirror. But the next day, when I feel outside of my own skin, I tend to barely skim over my appearance, and often create parts of my image that are not real while roughly pushing and pulling at parts of my body I don’t like.
Masturbation takes away this pressure. Vision, and therefore negative reconstructions of myself, are immediately taken out of the equation. Instead the power of touch is introduced in a celebratory and sensual manner that enables me to really feel and acknowledge each curve of MY body. It makes is easier for me to see envision myself instead of a body only looked at as a comparison to someone "better".
The more I really know about me, the less bullshit I am likely to believe. And once I trust myself, the possibilities of growing all aspects of myself are possible if not inevitable.To depend on myself as my own source of happiness.
When I carve out time to masturbate, to listen to my body and celebrate my own sexy, I am in love with how I am making ME feel. Masturbation, for me, is a continuous reminder that I can be and should be the source of my own happiness, both physically and mentally. Furthermore, once I have mastered that, it makes it easier to show and to tell others (who are willing to learn) just how I need to be loved. Successful private masturbation, meditation, and self-reflection are all ways I am able to prove to myself that I can sometimes be alone, but never lonely.To ensure I am surrounded by positive energy and NOTHING else so far as I can help it.
When you are happy, you’re less likely to want negative energy around you, who can potentially mess with your happiness. As the knowledgeable Kendrick Lamar has said so profoundly, “Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.”To give the important people in my life a better person to love.
If you have never brought yourself to an orgasm, let me tell you, it can really make you a happier person! Looking beyond the physical, with a quiet surrounding, patience and self-reflection, I am learning what makes ME tick. When I read a thought-provoking book, share on All The FUQs, or speak to myself in the mirror, I am touching myself and my spirit as only I can. That kind of power gives way to strength. That strength allows me to permit others to enjoy all of me.
