My New Year Starts on The Second | Getting Real About The New Year — Sexual Health and Relationships

Why is New Year’s Eve is Hella Stressful?

New Year’s Eve stresses me the eff out. Like a lot. New Year’ Day raises my anxiety levels so high that my shoulders seem stuck right under my ears all day. Sure sure, on NYE, there is no end to the number of parties and get together’s to choose from. For some of you, those with more “normalcy”, these parties are your way to cheer in the new year with fervor and focus. For me, it’s the only way to distract my mind from overloading.

“What haven’t I completed this year.” “Have I really changed at all?” “What are my real accomplishments and what can I really accomplish in another 12 months?” With all these questions in my head, I get tired before the year is even off and running.

So New Year’ Eve becomes a day of excess. I think about how many drinks I will be having that night to seem just as excited about the New Year as everyone else. What makeup will make me look brighter than I actually feel. I definitely am the type avoid the New Year’s posts because they really just aren’t my thing – I’d feel like a phony.

New Year, New-ish You?

We put so much pressure around the New Year. People travel around the globe in search of themselves, join gyms to undo years of unhealthy habits, and we count the seconds until the ball drops and we are able to hit the reset button.

But then we actually have to show up. And then again the day after that and once more again. That level of commitment is hella intimidating.

So instead my New Year’s stars off a bit differently.

The next morning, (depending how well I did with dodging a hang over) seems to be more about just getting through the day than thriving in it. Avoiding social media feels like the name of the game to getting out ahead of the ever looming depression. Like a true relative of the Grinch, I enjoy having my phone off, snuggling up in spot on the couch, tuning out with Netflix, and letting the hours just, pass.

New Year on the 2nd - Get Into It

Kind of depressing right? Yea it’s a funk that I’ve been able to elevate but not fully lift yet. It has taken me this long not to see the New Year as the enemy, but rather someone to tolerate for the day. It has taken me just as long, not to let the funk linger too long after.

Instead, my New Year begins on the second. On January 2nd, I feel refreshed from being lazy and alone the day before and my mind is more at ease. Magically I am able to revisit my thought as a series of days strung together, rather than one huge brick of responsibility being thrown at me.

So it is on January second that I have the guts to face the new year ahead. The ideas for the new year can be exhilarating but showing up for these ideas in the New Year can easily overwhelm me.

New Year’s Fun-ish Fact

With any new frontier, its bound to get dark sometimes, that’s a given. But what “makes a year” is what you choose to do and what perspective you choose to follow. Every January 1st I’m too busy numbing my thoughts to remember this fun fact. But on the second of January my brain is able to remember. And it helps. It really helps me to re-align and feel strong enough to take on the next year with more vigor than the last.

2019 - The New Frontier

So with my new frontier on my mind, this year is all about visibility folks! Showing up for others and for myself. Showing up for the community of sex positive people of color who are really just trying to get honest about sex. Being visible in by bed to make sure my needs, my sexual, sensual, and intimate needs, are heard and met.

What about you?