Is anal sex for you? Like most statements around sex especially, this question is poorly phrased! It leaves no space for a shift in interest, partners or fluidity - the cornerstones of sexuality.
“Who controls your butt?”
The better question? Is anal sex for you right now?
Anal sex is often frowned upon as dirty, nasty, and unnatural. But who says? Literally? Who controls your butt?!
Moreover, when anal is looked at as cool, it can only pass for a certain kind of person. It hilarious, that even though we have all got butts only some of us are permitted to use them for more than just it’s biological purpose? FUQ that! It does not even make sense.
For many years prior to becoming sexually active, and then also once active sexually, I would reply with a staunch “no” if ever asked if I thought anal sex play to be fun or up for consideration. That was not the wrong. That was my answer. That was me respecting my comfort level.
And then things changed. I was tempted to try out something new sexually, had gained a partner that was patient and that I could trust, and had found a new trust in myself. We started slowly and over time built up. And to my surprise (and my partner’s) I liked it!
Now does this mean that every time sex is on the table, it will include the anal kind? Does that mean this has to be shared with any and every partner? No! It does not have to ever be done again if I did not want it to. The whole idea is that sex and sexuality are fluid and you have choices. Sex can be liberating in a host of different ways, but can only begin to be if you, yourself, are ready and trusting (not so much of sex but of yourself). For years I was having sex but only in the past few have I started to really felt ready for it.
So here’s what you need to know - if you aren’t interested in anal sex that’s cool. Just know that your choice does not then give you the right to judge others if they are interested in anal.
If you are interested in it and are looking to do so with a partner (either using an object or a real penis), take your time. Both you and your partner should be patient. It’s worth the wait.
The FUQS
- Don't go from back to front. Vaginal sex should NOT follow anal for fear of bacteria.
Good lube is your best friend. No spit shortcuts.
Use a condom as anal sex does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases.
Ensure you've got yourself a good partner.
Don't force anything. Your body will NOT lie in this case, but rather snap shut leaving it unprobable.
