Sex Can Change with the Partner
The first time I really enjoyed sex was with my current partner. I was in my late twenties and I learned how much fun sex could be. Being silly with him in the streets and in the sheets feels so natural and easy. It is a departure from my previous relationships, situationships and hookups where sex seemed to be a production or performance of some sort, where the other person was the lead actor and director. I took my cues as a good supporting actor does and played my part to the best of my abilities. For me, sex was serious business (which can be cool) but I’ve since learned that sex can be fun too.
Laughing During Sex
With my current partner, what I’ve loved from the start is that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. It took me years and many therapy sessions to fully understand the wall I’d put up before meeting him. I didn’t know fun sex before him. The sex I knew with men was for their pleasure. We were done once they orgasmed. Any pleasure or orgasm on my end was an afterthought or an accidental bonus.
“I fully relaxed with him and trusted what he would do. I let go from head to toe. Like, I really let go... ”
My partner doesn’t subscribe to that sense of selfishness. He takes great pride in every moan, gasp, and chuckle as I head to climax. I can completely relax with him. I don’t care what my body looks like. If the position is right, who gives a shit? If it feels good, we keep going.
The night I really laughed out loud started out like many others we’d shared. Perhaps because of the amount of time we’d been together at that point or since we just understood each other and our bodies better, I fully relaxed with him and trusted what he would do. I let go from head to toe. Like, I really let go and I farted. Not even like a cute little one. Like- a belch coming from between my legs. I was mortified and kept apologizing. He said it didn’t smell. Thank goodness. He laughed and then I laughed too. I couldn’t believe it. He asked me if I was okay and through my laughter I said yes. He was stunned since he never experienced that before. Neither had I and I was relieved it didn’t scare him off.
Laughing During Sex | Did it Ruin the Mood?
We kept going. Positions changed and then more air- this time from my vagina. I couldn’t believe the amount of air coming out and the sound- like mini farts. Queefing (the air coming out) was new to me but he didn’t seem phased at all. He started laughing again and so did I. I let out a deep belly laugh at the sounds and symphony my body was creating. I’m laughing as I write this and feeling grateful to be with someone I can keep laughing with.
THE FUQS:
Sex should be enjoyed by all involved.
The body makes a number of sounds. During sex is no exception.
There is a place for laughter in the bedroom.
“Although the scientific and Latin term is indeed ‘flatus vaginalis’ (yes, vaginal flatulence)...‘it has nothing to do with fermentation or gases. Rather, it is air that penetrates the vagina and is simply released.’” - Buzzfeed