So you got yourself together, are looking fresh, smelling good and are ready to impress. You’re prepared to wow but what’s the plan for when you get there? What are you looking to learn about that person? And are you ready for it?
This week, let’s get real about getting real. Are you really paying attention to what they person across from you is saying or are you distracted? Are you asking the right questions and are you really listening to the answer?
How You Start Can Determine How You Finish
Most folks admit that they like to keep things light on the first, second, and third date. But most of us don’t realize that we are still keeping it to light on the 50th date, when we are living together, or when we’ve had kids together. Why?
When first starting out with someone, you don’t know each other, so to expose your truth might feel uncomfortable. Or you might not want to say too much so you play polite.
But then once we drop the act, and start getting real with our partner, we are surprised, when down the line we learn something about them that we don’t like.
Sound familiar?
Don’t Always Blame It On The Rose Colored Glasses
Too many times, after a relationship has ended or we blame a lot it on the rose colored glasses. When we explain to our friends all the elements of the person and the relationship that weren’t working, we use the excuse of new love as the cause of ignorance and lack of action to end or adjust the relationship sooner.
But is that really the truth or is it more of a cop out?
Were there red flags that we were ignoring? Were their values really alining with yours? Did you truly feel equally yoked?
Switch Up The Questions You Ask
Want to try out something different? Here are some new questions to ask and to listen to, to know someone better from day one.
What drives you? What is most important to you?
What is your biggest fear?
What would you say is your most traumatic experience?
When you see yourself 5 years from now, where are you, what are you doing?
How are you preparing yourself to get there?
When are you the happiest?
I know. Some of these might sound super intense, but trust, the more you know the more opportunity you have to make better decisions! Perhaps they are not all first date questions, but certainly keep them in the memory bank!
The F.U.Q.s
It is much harder to find out the answer when you don’t ask the question
Better to know sooner than later
Questions can be intimate without being intrusive
Listen as much as you ask
