By: Jennette
I first learned about erections from a girl named Marybeth during recess.
“My brother said the boy’s penis has to get hard to have sex,” the girl with the long red hair told a group of us by the monkey bars.
“When she finally did take off his pants, his penis bounced out like a jack-in-the-box.”
“What does that mean?” we replied, in unison.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t say.”
Not too long after that conversation. I heard many jokes about snakes and getting hard on the playground. I didn’t fully know what they meant, but I knew it was connected to this whole sex business.
So...why doesn't Ken have a penis?
I must admit, as a kid I was curious about human anatomy, especially the male form. I would undress my Ken dolls hoping to get a glimpse of what was between their legs. To my disappointment, I only ever found plastic briefs molded into Ken’s body or an odd bump. Is it weird to disrobe your Ken doll as soon as you rescue him from the bounds and ties of his plastic chamber? Probably. But, I was a kid on a mission. That particular mission failed every time.
The hairy truth of real penises
By the end of 4th grade, I saw an adult penis for the first time in a book my friend found while we were at the public library. I remember being crouched down in a corner flipping through pages of naked people. The two pictures that stood out the most were one of a woman and one of a man, both naked, standing near a beach. The photos were not sexualized at all. They were just standing there naked. Up until that point, I had no idea adults hid bushels of hair underneath their pants. We whispered and laughed about those photos for weeks.
“The first time I finally saw an erect penis, I was watching a porno I found in my older sister’s closet.”
In retrospect, it would have been a great book for parents to have a real conversation with their children about bodies and how they change as we get older. I’m sure the writers had that intention; but, we found it on our own and taught ourselves by piecing together information we learned from older siblings, the playground and pornography.
The first time I finally saw an erect penis, I was watching a porno I found in my older sister’s closet. I was in 5th or 6th grade and curious to see what it looked like. In no way was I about to see one in person, so this blockbuster videotape was the next best thing.
I muted the volume on my TV so no one in the house would hear what I was watching. Then, I pushed the tape into the VCR and immediately the scene popped on. A white man and a black woman stood naked in a bar/restaurant. Automatically, I could see the difference between this guy’s penis and the one of the man in the picture book from the library. Disgusted, I turned my head. But, curiosity got the best of me and I turned back around. By then, they were in the middle of intercourse on a table. I looked away again, as I rewound the video back to the beginning of the scene. I’m not exactly sure why I kept looking away. I guess I wasn’t quite prepared for what I was seeing. But, like I said, curiosity won over any feelings of wrongdoing or bashfulness.
“I mean, it looked weird and ugly. No one ever mentioned that part.”
I watched the scene from the beginning and saw the bulge form in his pants, just by watching the woman. They hadn’t even touched yet. When she finally did take off his pants, his penis bounced out like a jack-in-the-box. I cringed and laughed at the same time, because it seemed to have a life of its own.
And, then the woman put her mouth on it. At that point, I was done. I stopped the tape and backed away from the TV.
Who would want to put their mouth on that?!
I mean, it looked weird and ugly. No one ever mentioned that part. I did finally understand all those snake jokes from school, though. A couple days later, I re-watched the whole scene and realized the woman was helping the rising process along, sort of like kneading dough.
I went several more years--okay, a decade, plus--before, I would experience this rising flesh in person. And, to be honest, I was less than impressed.
Stay tuned for The Rise, Part 2.
The FUQS:
Kids are super curious. Even though it can be uncomfortable, healthy and informative conversations about bodies should start at a young age. They will find answers wherever they can get them. We want them to get the right information from healthy age-appropriate sources, such as informational books followed by conversations with parents and trusted adults.
Adult entertainers’ bodies are often altered with plastic surgery. There is nothing wrong with that. However, it is not the best source for adolescents and teens to learn about natural adult bodies. Real boobs can’t defy gravity.
Fellatio is a natural part of sex. However, at a young age without any context, the idea of oral sex seemed weird and super gross. With time and knowledge, I now understand that it can be a enjoyable experience for both partners.