By: J

For the first two months, we went on dates, we held hands everywhere we went, and we kissed often. One afternoon he met me by my house, we took a walk in the park and then he invited me to his apartment. I said I wasn’t sure about going (I’d never been and we hadn’t had sex yet) but he smiled and reassured me that we wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. He said he just wanted to show me where he lived since we only ever went by my house. It seemed innocent enough. That summer afternoon, we walked a few blocks from the park to his building. As we rode the elevator to his apartment, he kissed me more passionately than he had before. While I believed otherwise before, I understood then that he wanted me to see more than his apartment.

I blushed as we got out of the elevator and he said “hi” to a neighbor getting on. He unlocked the apartment door and said “hello.” No one answered. He motioned for me to sit on one of the white couches and I did so as he walked from the living room towards the back of the apartment. “Hello?” He smiled and said no one was home. I felt nervous and excited that we were alone. He kissed me again and cupped his hands on the small of my back. I pulled away so I could see his face fully. “Are you sure no one’s home?” He smiled, grabbed me and said he’d give me the tour. We were standing in the living room which doubled as his bedroom. The couch I was sitting on was also his bed. He led me to the back where he’d just been and showed me his parents’ bedroom. The dresser on the left was his. The dining area was between the living room and his parent’s bedroom. It was a glass table with white chairs. In his apartment, most of the furniture was white or glass. The furniture in my house was mainly wood.

Still holding my hand, he walked me back about 20 steps to the kitchen which was right next to the living room, separated by an archway. And the bathroom was just past the kitchen. The bathroom carpeting, toilet cover, sink, tub, soaps and shower curtain were all white too. “No one's here except you and me,” he said again. I relaxed slightly. He asked me if I needed the bathroom and I declined so we headed back to the living room and sat on his sofa bed. He kissed me again and he moved his hand up and down my arm as he did so. He then moved his hand to my lap and rubbed from knee to upper thigh as he began to kiss my neck. After asking me if I was okay, he began to rub his hand between my thighs. He reached to unbutton my jeans. I looked down as he began to pull down the zipper and I stopped him. It was the first time I noticed that even the carpet was white. How was everything so clean? So white?

I realized how close the door was and kept envisioning it opening at any moment. My answer was final. “I’m not ready,” I said. He pouted his lips and asked if I was sure. He offered an alternative: “No need to take anything off. How about I just…” He slipped his hand under my pants and underwear. His hand worked its way towards my clit and I moaned softly. “You’re really hairy.” “Okay.” “Let me shave you.” I was stunned. I quietly put my hand on his arm to guide it back out. “Why?” “I prefer it shaven. It’s cleaner that way.”

I kept it neat. I thought it was a cute little triangle. It wasn’t perfect but I stand by my work since I’d checked it with a mirror. There was a bush but one would be hard pressed to call it overgrown. But for him, any hair down there didn’t belong. I wondered if he was clean-shaven and if he’d shaven someone else before. His offer came so naturally. Instead I said, “but you might cut me.” “No need to worry, I’d use the razor carefully. And then you can do it yourself during the week to keep it that way.” I imagined red on the white of the tub. I imagined my vagina losing its cape.

Any desire I’d had left. “It’s getting late. Walk me home?” He tried to kiss me again and I heard a key in the door. He jumped to the other side of the couch and smiled at me. As the door opened he smiled again and greeted his mother and then introduced me, explaining that we were just leaving. He promised to bring me back soon so we could properly meet. She smiled and nodded as we walked out. As we exited the building lobby he said “I love you, baby.” I asked him how he knew and he said, “because you said no. You didn’t have sex with me so fast. I know you’re a good girl.”

THE FUQS

• What you do with your body hair- whether you let it grow freely do what it does, trim it, or get rid of it- is up to you. What makes you feel good and sexy?

• While you may prefer that your partner keep their pubic hair a certain way, it’s important that you consider why. Is it based on what you see in porn films? Do you believe it’s cleaner without hair? Be real and talk about it with each other. Do some research together too to help dispel any myths you may have. Be prepared for the possibility that they will say no or that they ask you to compromise.

• Timing is key. In the heat of the moment is not the right time to bring up something you’d like your partner to consider changing.